Falling out of love; it happens to the best of us. It has its reasons and usually one of the two partners are to blame. Whether you’re in a relationship, engaged to be married or already married with 3 kids and 10 marital years under the belt, let’s take a look at some reasons why couples fall out of love:
The Partners Were ‘Someone Else’ At First
When we are in the initial stage of any relationship, the phase where we are exploring each other’s personalities, we often put up certain pretenses to be more likeable, which can range from being completely harmless like pretending to like a certain color, to something more serious like hiding a past relationship. When couples are together for a long time, keeping up with these appearances becomes exhausting and eventually who you really are is slowly revealed. The person who you fell in love with now starts to seem like a thing of the past; a distant memory, a stranger! This is why in most domestic arguments, couples are often heard complaining the ever so uttered phrase: “you have changed; you’re not who you used to be!”
The notion that there is no true love without jealousy is far from practical. Reality alert – jealousy is suffocating! There are many ways to prove your love for your partner and jealousy is definitely not one of them. In fact, it is an awesome way of pushing your partner away by creating issues which never existed initially. Trust and appreciation can go a long way. Remember that!
The partners started denying each other the simple pleasure of each other’s company, stopped spending time with each other; simply put: they just stopped talking. Communication is extremely important not only to fall in love but also to stay in love. Couples fall out of love when they become strangers to each other! You don’t know what’s going on in your partner’s life, you stop paying attention to each other, you forget their needs and wants, thus inevitably living separate lives even as you live and sleep under the same roof!
Lack of Effort
Boredom. This is one of the most common reasons why couples or married spouses lose the chemistry within their connection. When the relationship becomes long term, couples often stop investing in each other and in the relationship. They tend to forget that love takes work, you need to choose your partner every day. Passion and romance need to be kept alive, instead of expecting it to ‘magically’ always remain even after the honeymoon phase. If the partners start taking each other for granted, as a consequence the spark and the desire for each other dies, resulting in the slow death of the relationship.
The Relationship Started Wrong
If the relationship wasn’t built on solid foundations then it has high chances of falling apart in the long run. For e.g. lust was mistaken for love, or it started off as cheating or an affair. This wasn’t love in its purest form in the first place and the truth had to hit sooner or later. Relationships which start wrong can never withstand the challenges of life and are destined to end in utter heart-ache and failure.
Couples who fail to develop healthy habits of conflict resolution develop resentment and negativity towards each other. If one or both the partners are bad at handling disagreements, choose to give the silent treatment, let issues build up, fight dirty rather than fair, hold grudges and become vengeful, then the love they had for each other will simply become history, replaced by feelings of anger and frustration.
The closer a couple gets and the more time they spend together, they find out more and more about each other. Their habits, choices, lifestyles, opinions etc. And as you get to know each other in the truest form, you may not be as compatible as you initially thought you were when you were blinded by the initial excitement.
Lying, cheating and dishonesty. These are the biggest unforgivables in any relationship, especially if they keep repeating. The partner who is being lied to will eventually get tired of it and the love will go out the window. It is a sure shot way of making the other person turn against you, a recipe for disaster and a leading cause of relationship demise; be that relationship in terms of a solemn marriage or any other form.